Yellow Raincoat
I was young, and all I wanted was to save you
Most people who want to teach in the city do
Younger than some of my ninth grade students
Took a minute to see that I had to be saved too
But I know this was your first time through the ninth grade
Six foot something, silent letters in your name
Told your english teacher gummies were the price for acting right
Beat somebody with a scooter, that was when you slept at night
And now I live close by to where you used to be
Drive down that road all the time, know the cross-street
Can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen but
I can still see at least the kid that you used to be
I remember that you had big dreams that you talked about
Fire in your veins until the system stomped the flame out
Leaves fell down and the weather turned colder
Still a boy but in their eyes, you’d always been older
I can see you laughing, putting on the teacher’s glasses
Beginning of the year when you still made it to your classes
Turned the lab sink on full-blast just to watch the water running through your chain
Talking about it being icy, smile taking up your whole face
I don’t even know who I hoped that you’d grow up to be
But when I tried to save souls, you were a part of saving me
Remember that I couldn’t help but laugh to myself
Came to school when you were suspended, yellow raincoat didn’t help
Used to be mine but you spent more time outside
All I had to do to make it home back then was walk down Aldine
Rain turned to snow and now you had nowhere to go
Sleeping out on the porch with no reprieve from the cold
And you taught me something, taught me that I couldn’t be mad
Because with the trap came a roof, food and family that you never had
Love was all you wanted, I can see it when I look back
How could I tell you Walmart across town would be a better path
When it was Rochester in the dead of the wintertime
And I could barely last a few minutes outside at night
You taught me that a child is more than any education plan
That you ran with gangs when you were little, system saw you as a man
I remember sobbing because I just wanted you to find Jesus
Not yet knowing Jesus comes out to the streets to meet us
That Jesus frequents places that a lot of Christians won’t go
Maximum security and with the homeless in the snow
Wondering where is the gang when part of it was right in front of me
Cause gangs are made of people, starts with kids who want a family
See, we want to pathologize state-sponsored trauma
Say he’s oppositional defiant, got it from his mama
When we talk in meetings about the cause of the behavior
There’s not a single soul who wants to look in the mirror
